That's All She Wrote

Have you ever been out in the crowd, not moving just standing somewhere in between while the others push you by your shoulder accidentally as they rush to start their daily routine. You stand there frozen, you try to take a step but your mind suddenly doesn't remember what it is. You can breathe just fine. The wind is cold; and as you breathe it in, it feels like pushing crushed ice down your throat. You bleed & cry at the same time but cover it up with a smile. You try to match up their pace and get things done in the attempt. But as you walk back home at night, you see no one by your side. There's no pace to catch up to no more. Nobody, just you and the moon who follows you to make sure you reach home. As soon as you are home, you wish it goodbye as you look at it through your only window. There that is it, you alone.

Can you feel it? Do you remember the moment you realised that you were alive? What were you doing? Did you feel your own breath? Did you check your pulses or the heart in you was pounding so loud that you heard it and decided to decode it? Which spelt it out for you that " You're Alive" indeed. Or was it the touch, touch of someone against your skin and you felt your blood rush, rush to your face which made your cheeks glow pink?  Or did it take a heartbreak to realize that your heart once had beats, once skipped beats for someone that went unnoticed. When was it? Did someone tell you or you knew it yourself? Did your body speak to you or was it your mind, your consciousness? I haven't known, I don't know if I will. But I'd like to know if you did and when you did, maybe out of a million ways one would work for me...

Can you distinguish between real and fake? Will you check the date? The one that came earlier could be real but, the latter could state it's fake. It's a series of events, a check of trial and error; it will definitely take forever if it's not a it but a human.  All of them wearing the same skin, maybe in a different color but don't we wanna be distinguished? How could we stay, us when everyone of us puts up another layer of color; it could be anything. A mask; they can mould. They can disguise as somebody I don't know. How would you know? Who would know the difference when they keep changing everyday, alerting themselves a little each time until all is shed. Sharpening themselves they say, only the one who dares to pick up the shaved.  A close eye to the edge, the line that determines the best. A thin line, separating them. Who'd dare? Knowing it could be anything, even their worst fears. How to examine? The same question again, which is real and which one is f...

You know it's real when you feel it in you, the churning of your stomach making you feel sicker and sicker with every breath you take. It's growing and nobody can help, you know something is wrong but you can't explain. Who would you explain it to? Why would they believe you? What set of words would you exactly select to explain that something in your head is hurting you, making you sick physically without existing in the dimension you all exist in. It's different, it's alive; hard to believe but definitely not a lie. You can get over it but the real question here is how long can you bear it? How long will you survive? Throughout the suffering, what will be your exact thoughts? Will you think of it? Will you think of your life? Present and past, another choice to make; you decide but have you got enough time? They say it will come back all at once in a flash, in a blink of an eye; but will it until you are willing to? Would you be able to control your mind, now anxi...