Never Ending, Suffering

Sometimes, sometimes you feel alienated and you just want to alienate almost everything & everyone.

Everything familiar seems distant and every warm thing feels cold, ice cold.

Things you love, you can't recognize anymore. You try, try to find solace in the solitude and when you can't, you try to find the familiarness in new things sometimes people or sometimes someone.

You try, try to change yourself so that maybe you can adjust better this time. But so very unlike it turns out worse. You do feel better for a little time but then, the loneliness kicks in, the emptiness inside starts swallowing you from inwards to outwards until there's nothing no more. No body, no soul, nothing to own.

Sometimes, you smoke; sometimes, you drink and it turns into a habit. Such that you turn into an alcoholic, melancholic.

Finally, you get stuck in the same loop for your whole life. It plays on repeat, turns into a routine living and breathing doesn't do enough to cut it. Until you finally decide that's it. You try, try again for one last time. The only difference, this time you try to break out no matter whether you fail or finally succeed to fly. The pain, the suffering is never ending.