Who Are You?

-
It's kinda weird, I keep you in my mind with no intention to constantly think about you. Yet that's all what I do.

I keep writing about you in the thought of letting the whole world know. Yet I keep writing, re-writing and tearing it out of the book and even hide it from you.

I'm selfish when it comes to you, I'm protective about you. Yet I couldn't save you from you.

For you, I could paint the whole world a shade of blue, engulf myself in the same shade as you. Yet, yet there's nothing that I could do.

It's strange, I have almost a book about you. Living inside my head, yet no pages in my hands.

Sometimes, it gets hard to even decide whether you were real or just a fragment of imagination growing inside. Yet, I live vicariously through the songs of you, the words you say and things you do.

Some days, I just want to end up like you. Sometimes, I just want to turn into another you. Someone, I knew.

You said, I'd forget about you once you're gone. But no matter what, whether or not I'm alone, you're the only thought in my thoughts.

I feel you catching glimpses of me, wandering around me like a ghost. But then, I think again. Coldness? Couldn't be ya.

In the end, there's only one question,

Who are you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feel-falling

-
Are things changing faster than I expected them to or have I been too slow and haven't covered what I was supposed to? Am I left behind, stranded, or abandoned, or am I at the place that I wanted to be at? Because I'm not aware of the feelings that I'm feeling & it's strange but in a good way as there is nothing to think about, I can't make sense of any of it. It feels new, untouched & unexplored; I have no words. There are no second thoughts but questions of "Are you sure?" Did something shift or did I alter reality?Something has changed, I don't know what it is, it is... is it the world or something inside of me? There is no way to find out who is in control of it.  Although I do know it is about to go downhill, I don't want it to but it is slipping out of my hands. I don't know where to stop or give in to the freefall? 
Read more

Never Ending, Suffering

-
Sometimes, sometimes you feel alienated and you just want to alienate almost everything & everyone. Everything familiar seems distant and every warm thing feels cold, ice cold. Things you love, you can't recognize anymore. You try, try to find solace in the solitude and when you can't, you try to find the familiarness in new things sometimes people or sometimes someone. You try, try to change yourself so that maybe you can adjust better this time. But so very unlike it turns out worse. You do feel better for a little time but then, the loneliness kicks in, the emptiness inside starts swallowing you from inwards to outwards until there's nothing no more. No body, no soul, nothing to own. Sometimes, you smoke; sometimes, you drink and it turns into a habit. Such that you turn into an alcoholic, melancholic. Finally, you get stuck in the same loop for your whole life. It plays on repeat, turns into a routine living and breathing doesn't do enough to cut it. Until you f...
Read more

Aware

-
 It seems like I'm losing, a battle against myself. No matter how hard I try to suppress all of it, none of it stays buried & surfaces at the weakest times. At this rate, it will swallow me while I will still be waiting for it to show me its teeth, for it to take a bite. I cannot seem to gain control over it, it's a demon I can't even see, didn't even know it exists. How do I fight something so powerful & strong? Something I wasn't even aware of.
Read more